The National College Republican Forum

The National College Republican Forum

A forum for all 51 College Republican federations. Sharing ideas, techniques, and gossip.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Real American Hero - National Chairman Paul Gourley


Today, we salute you Mr. National College Republican Chairman
(Mr. National College Republican Chairman)

Never before has one man gotten so much with so little.

Whether or not people think of you as Lennie Small from "Of Mice and Men", you keep workin’ boy.

Just because you don’t have a college degree, and probably never will, why bother?

For our pure enjoyment, you bravely throw yourself directly in the path of hygiene, and you do it while drinking out of a goblet filled with Hoplin’s spit.

It might take you thirty minutes to explain what your actual job is to that average looking chick at a Milwaukee biker bar, but eventually she’ll understand...kind of.

True, you travel the country on the dime of long forgotten widows. So what, you get free peanuts during each trip.

At every campus you visit, College Republicans always want you to take the stage: the first stage out of town.

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. National College Republican Chairman. Seeing you takes us back to a time: a time when Neanderthals dragged their knuckles on the ground.
(Thank you Mr. National College Republican Chairman!)


----------------
The Man, The Hard Roar, MR. ROARK

57 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lenny is from "Of Mice and Men" you dipshit.

Ironic, you mock Paul Gourley for being a retard, and then you do that. I'm not saying that Gourley isn't Lennie, but it doesn't look like you're anything much either there Forrest.

Great job. No, really. You knocked that one out of the park.

2:44 AM, May 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update there. Glad I could help on that. If you're going to mock Gourley, please do it right next time.

Proofreading helps.

5:00 PM, May 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow thats just great.

5:35 PM, May 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cowardly anonymous attacks? Pathetic. Grow up you little pieces of shit.

8:39 PM, May 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paul Gourley forged a list of Missouri delegates in order to win himself an election. No one with an ounce of respect for our cause - no REAL College Republican can respect this guy.

9:48 PM, May 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought the post was clever and humorous. Maybe some of you guys need to get a sense of humor.

10:24 PM, May 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paul Gourley has a foot fetish and loves women's shoes, especially high heels.

1:45 AM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TMI about the foot fetish. Maybe it explains his "courting" of widows.

8:57 AM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The post was a great idea. However, when it originally went up, Lennie was from the "Grapes of Wrath," which is wrong.

Mockery never works if you're as retarded as the person you're mocking.

12:42 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The opposition needs to unite and throw these people out of office next year. Just take one look at the CRNC's programs and you'll see why. Michael Patlan on the CRNC payroll? Its all going downhill. We need real leadership going into the 2008 presidential race.

2:03 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gourley can actually attract "average-looking" girls?

3:15 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahhahahahahahahahaa (pause) hahahhahaaha

God, that is funny.

3:56 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only think we know for sure is that Gorley can be smooth elderly women.

With average females his age, we just do not know.

7:33 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoever posted this is a genius of the highest order.

8:07 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, a little coward sitting his mom's basement posting insults online. Real special there.

11:51 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whomever posted this is a moron -- they call Gourley a retard from a classic book, AND IT'S ORIGINALLY THE WRONG DAMN BOOK!! Only after someone brought it up on here did they change it. Real genius.

3:03 AM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The post is funny. We know the establishment is paranoid b/c they're going to lose next year, but they still need to lighten up.

3:12 AM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, whoever is the establishment goon on here clearly feels threatened.

Or had a thing for Steinbeck.

10:05 AM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He will probably correct your spelling as well. Watch out!

1:20 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not an Establishment goon, just want to see the Opposition have a bit more wit about them when bashing on the douche that is national chairman.

Give's no credibility to the argument that Gourley's a retard when you can't even call him by the right retard name. Just trying to set the bar a little higher children.

For the record, though, Gourley's a douche. Bar none.

3:55 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hiding behind blogs and sending emails to the national board is what the opposition does best. These paper tigers can make all the threats they want, but in person, they fold up and run away. Look at the December meeting, or the June convention, watch these caucus elections. You'll never see an opposition kid acting professional when trying to make a point.

7:22 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ ah, the scent of pre-rendered rhetoric

You see, Gourley made a point to bar the "professional" ones from even coming to these training sessions. Isn't that right Paul?

*sigh*

-_-

And until the establishment wants to actually debate arguments made on the blogs, they should go... do something, like... write fundraising letters. Chop-chop!

9:12 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The CRNC doesn't have to debate whatever childish taunts the blogs throw out there. Its beneath them to deal with the likes of you kids.

10:29 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Micarrelli 2007!

10:48 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Nick Mic running? When does he get back? I think Hall has a better shot.

11:17 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hall would have a better shot if he wasn't a fucking prick. It's state chairs like Hall who give the opposition a bad name.

11:29 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nick will be back from Iraq early this month (June). He may just be unstoppable when he arrives back in the states.

Has Hall ever been a chapter chairman?

2:50 AM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nope, just a state chairman.

2:49 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hall is another Opposition member that Davidson promised an appointed position to. Hall was never interested in being a chapter chair or working with his own chapter, he was only out to be a state chair and play kiddy politics on a national level, ignoring duties at home. Just like Harris, Eliza, the New York chick, and a long list of others.

3:06 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you know that they arent doing their jobs in their states? Do you live there? I've heard great things about New York and Texas. They are both working on stuff during the summer to prepare for the midterm elections: something we should all be working on instead of bickering about petty national politics.

3:33 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harris & Hall were never chapter chairs.

3:36 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or as I like to call them "Team H&H" bringing back reform, taking names.

3:52 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't understand where "bringing back reform" comes from. I haven't seen any reform.

4:02 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously you guys don't know these "reform" members. Eliza in Texas is super sweet. Its clear that New York is moving in the right direction. Hall was never promised anything from Davidson and he's doing a great job as chairman in Kentucky. If you would try to get to know Blake Harris, you would realize he's a real cool guy. I know these individuals as well as several on the "establishment" side. Both sides have quality individuals and its sad that you use words like Prick to describe some of the hard working CR's in the country.

5:50 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moffett 2007!

6:33 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea fat chance in hell that will happen.

9:37 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moffett 07's tagline can be "Anyone is Better Than Gourley" though I wouldn't want to see it happen.

12:43 AM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moffett would be a strong candidate.

2:27 AM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is jason kyzer still in college?

11:03 AM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kyzer for Chair 2007!

1:13 PM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hall's slogan should be "nice guy"

too bad he has a shitty federation that has done nothing.

1:33 PM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice guys finish...somewhere.

2:31 PM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice guys are hot, somewhere in the world.

6:00 PM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milty is a failure. He screwed Frank Luna over.

Success? I don't think so.

5:31 PM, June 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The opposition

had

the northeast

in the grip of its hand

and then Miltenberger lost both credentials seats. Not someone you want to run for National Chairman. It's gotta be Nick Miccarelli or Mason Harrison.

9:38 PM, June 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd go for Mason!

2:28 AM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent Ludeman is an opposition lackey. The Pacific Northwest just should not trust him.

At all.

7:46 AM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ludeman = Lackey

10:28 AM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Smith is a coward.

9:29 PM, June 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moffett should run as national chair. has there ever been a woman as national chair of CR's? I don't think there has been. Although she would probably try and make her loser boyfriend Co-Chair.

1:05 PM, June 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moffett and Centinello are no longer together.

4:20 PM, June 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that in the normal sense or the Bill and Hillary sense?

9:05 PM, June 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since when did they break up?

10:55 PM, June 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More like Loserman.

1:54 PM, June 10, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Establishment 5
Opposition 0

Credentials Committee

5:35 PM, June 10, 2006  
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